Friday, January 22, 2010

Caso 81


Era daquelas manhas que podia perfeitamente ser de tarde! Até porque se quisermos ser amigos da verdade, afirmar que uma manhã podia ser uma tarde é uma daquelas expressões, que apesar da exuberante beleza poética, sinceramente não quer dizer nada, pelo que o desgraçado discente que vai ter de resolver o presente caso prático, perde o seu precioso tempo, lendo um lindo texto, repleto de expressões desinteressantes, num longo parágrafo que, sejamos honestos, não serve para absolutamente mais nada do que aumentar a sua ansiedade!
Bentinho e Capitolina cresceram como irmãos, desde a mais pura das idades, partilhando brinquedos e cumplicidades, penicos e fraldas, lágrimas e sorrisos, como dois verdadeiros irmãos, que só não tinha sangue comum, porquanto Bentinho era filho de seu pai e Capitolina de sua mãe, que se casaram depois e tiveram um filho comum, “Venâncio”, “meio irmão” dos nossos dois heróis!
Bentinho começou a trabalhar aos 18 anos num call-center onde ganhava um disparate de pouco dinheiro: ainda assim, porque era rapaz poupada, quando Capitu – diminutivo de Capitolina – fez 17 anos, ofereceu-lhe um iphone, um ramo de acácias e uma moto 4, comprada com o dinheiro da herança de uma velha, que pensava ser avó dele!
Bentinho ganhou ainda um disparate de dinheiro com outro negócio: para ajudar um politico que tinha metido dinheiro ao bolso, fingiu comprar 10 apartamentos, que sendo do politico, ficaram em nome dele, de forma a que a trafulhice não fosse descoberta!
Não sei se já referi, mas o meu bom aluno por certo já percebeu, que Bentinho e Capitu, criados como irmãos, amavam-se como homem e mulher, passando fogosas noites de amor casto, nos braços tenros um do outro, pormenor terrivelmente importante na vida deles, mas que me parece irrelevante para o caso prático!
Contrariamente ao facto de Capitu, após ter descoberto sms comprometedoras no telefone de Bentinho, ter trocado o seu amado que afinal não a amava tanto assim, teve um surto de ciúmes daqueles muito complicados e colocou veneno na caipirinha dele. Por um daqueles mistérios da vida, ele sem nada saber trocou os copos e foi ela a beber o caipirinha envenenada, tendo falecido enquanto dormia!
Bentinho ficou tão triste que começou a consumir cocaína! O seu fornecedor tinha 13 anos e tinha sido baptizado com o nome de Escobar, um lindo rapaz que usava um piercing na narina e tinha um caderno dos Simpsons! A história de vida de Escobar, faz este que vos escreve verter lágrimas só de pensar, pelo nada vou contar ou espero pelo teste para o fazer!
Mas o que vos conto agora, foi aquele triste e fatídico dia, que salvo erro até era de noite, em que após consumir cocaína em demasiado, Bentinho entrou na Estig com uma pistola e matou 6 professores; ainda tentou matar o de Direito, mas ele estava a fumar um cigarro à varanda, pelo que saiu ileso da carnificina. Nesse dia, o sortudo fumador, comprou uma cigarreira a dizer: Fumar não me matou!
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